Osama bin Celebratin'

Grogginess is on the menu for most of my fourth graders come Monday, but today I was bum rushed with kids amped on patriotism.  Most of these kids were less than a year old on September 11th, yet the media had whipped these 20 kids into the "Osama Pajama Deathfest 2011" frat party. Four Loko seemed to stream through their veins as they squirmed in their seats and "Osama" slurred out of their mouths.  Instead of fighting against the drunken ramble, we had a class meeting.  Frat president manned the convo for us all:

Frat Pres: Well, we killed the guy that flew two planes into the two towers. Osama bin Laden, was he a bad man? How did he fly TWO planes into the towers and survive?

Me: Yep, he was a bad man, that's why we've been hunting him down for the past decade. And he didn't fly the planes, but he was in charge of the terrorist group that did.

Frat Pres: Ok, well anyways I don't have cable but I was watching on the internet.  My whole family was so happy...we were all celebrating!

I was so happy I went on the internet and printed a picture of his dead body with all the bullet holes in him and I taped it on my wall.

Me: Wow...

Frat Pres: I'm not finished. Then I got my bow and arrow and started shooting arrows at him...it was so fun.

Me: What?! You were shooting arrows INSIDE your house? Like plastic NERF arrows?

Frat Pres: No!!! REAL arrows, I made them out of wood. I kept trying to shoot the arrows at his head, but I kept hitting him in his privates!!!

Me: Ok, ok, ok...this is getting a little out of control, anybody else have something to say?

Frat Pres: Then we had PIZZA!!! We celebrated by having a pizza party! 

That's America.